Sometimes we blame ourselves for the way we live our lives because they are not as perfect as we want them to be. When we talk to our friends or scroll through social media, and come to the conclusion that our lives pale in comparison. We make ourselves feel guilty about the things that we should be unapologetic about. It’s now time to embrace ourselves and stop shaming ourselves for these things.
Bright Side delves into the common things that we all tend to shame ourselves for and discusses the reasons why we should put an end to this behavior.
1. Your career choices
The more unusual and less-paying a job is, the more you tend to shame yourself for your career choices. You doubt yourself more if you have the qualifications for more stable jobs with better salaries, but chose a different career path. The pressure is even greater when your friends go on to climb the corporate ladder. But if you are happy with your job, you should take pride with what you do, no matter what.
2. Your disabilities or lack of ability
You may experience being slighted due to your disabilities or lack of ability in something, but you should not shame yourself for it. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, so if you are not good at something that doesn’t make you a loser. Having disabilities or a lack of abilities simply means that your strengths lie elsewhere.
3. Wanting some “me” time
In an extroverted world, sometimes it is hard to excuse yourself so that you can have time to yourself. If you are a mother, you might feel even guiltier about hiding in the pantry before your kids come and find you. But the truth is, everyone deserves to have time to be on their own and pamper themselves without worrying about others for a while. So take 5 and don’t feel guilty about it.
4. Friends and partners you choose
You may have a partner or friends in your life that other people think are not good enough for you. But if they treat you well, it should not matter if they are considered “not cool” or not good enough. You should be glad that there are people like them in the world who care about you.
5. Where you came from
If you are ashamed about your past, it is unlikely that you will be able to appreciate the present and look forward to the future. Accepting your past as the thing that has shaped you is one of the ways to start loving yourself. If you came from a bad place, let it be a reminder that you are better off now or that you can be better off.
6. The food you eat
Health-conscious friends may try to guilt-trip you whenever you enjoy something sinfully delicious. But you should not shame yourself for indulging in food as long as you take care of your health. Eating is one of the greatest pleasures in life and if you can afford it, you should enjoy it.
7. Your relationship status
Maybe you prefer being single or feel you are better off divorcing your partner. Even if people disagree with you, you should not shame yourself for not being with someone. Sure, being romanced or getting married may seem great, but if you feel you need to be single, you should not feel guilty about it.
8. Being different
It is already difficult to be part of a minority, so it doesn’t help if you also make yourself feel bad about being different. Instead of trying to fit in and be part of the majority, you should embrace your uniqueness and make a good use of it.
9. The things that you can and cannot afford
In this materialistic world, it is not unusual to feel ashamed if you cannot afford branded and trendy things. However, you should remember that labels should not define you. Live within your means and be happy with what you have.
10. Your body weight, size, or shape
Certain body weights, sizes, and body shapes may be preferable in the media, but that is not a good reason to shame yourself for your body. Health should be more important than the way your body looks so if you have that down, you should never feel ashamed of your body. Look into the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful because that is the truth.
11. The interests you have
Even hobbies have different statuses in the eyes of society. But if you truly enjoy reading, being part of a glee club, collecting figurines, knitting, or anything at all, you should take pride in that. Provided that it’s not harmful to anyone, you should be free to have an interest in anything.
12. Being emotional
Being an adult sometimes means that you are expected to not show too much emotion. Even so, you are not a robot and should be allowed to express your emotions. So let the tears roll when your heart breaks or even when you are watching a movie. There’s no need to shame yourself when you’re expressing yourself and are unable to reel in your feelings when things truly affect you.
13. The way you dress
Perhaps society has certain ideas about how you should dress, but you should not join those who shame you because of the way you dress. You should be proud of whatever you are comfortable wearing. Your clothes should be your decision, so wear them with confidence.
14. Having miscarriages or being unable to conceive
This is perhaps not talked about enough. Miscarriages and the inability to conceive are not very uncommon, but women tend to blame and shame themselves for them. The truth is, usually these are not your fault. You should keep reminding yourself that you are not the problem.
Which of these things have you felt bad about and do you still beat yourself up for them? Are there any other things you have shamed yourself for?
Illustrated by Daniil Shubin for BrightSide.me